When the news broke that Charlie Kirk was shot while speaking at Utah Valley University, the story traveled fast. Students panicked, families texted, and parents everywhere felt that familiar knot in their stomach: What if this happened where my child goes to school?
It’s a terrifying thought. And as a parent, you may wonder: What do I even say to my child about this?
The truth is, you don’t need perfect words. What matters most is showing up with honesty, steadiness, and compassion.
Start With Acknowledgment
Begin by naming what happened. A simple statement such as, “I saw what happened today—how are you feeling about it?” shows your child you are tuned in and ready to listen.
Listen Before You Teach
Parents often rush to offer solutions, but what young people usually need first is to feel heard. Sit with the discomfort. Let them talk. Allow silence without immediately filling it.
Balance Honesty With Calm
You don’t need to sugarcoat. Acknowledge that a violent event did occur and that it can feel frightening. At the same time, remind them that these events are rare, campuses prepare for emergencies, and most campus activities happen without incident.
Talk Safety Without Fear
Shift the focus from catastrophic “what if” scenarios to practical “what to do” steps. Encourage awareness of exits, paying attention to alerts, and staying with friends if something feels unsafe. Framing it as preparation helps them feel capable, not overwhelmed.
Model Calm Yourself
Children learn as much from what we do as from what we say. If you are glued to the news or speaking with panic, they will absorb that energy. Demonstrate balance: take breaks from media, practice healthy coping strategies, and share how you manage your own stress.
A Simple Checklist to Guide You
- Acknowledge the event rather than dismissing it.
- Ask open questions and listen carefully to the answers.
- Be honest about what happened while emphasizing safety measures and rarity.
- Offer simple, practical safety tips without creating unnecessary fear.
- Model healthy coping behaviors yourself.
- Encourage your child to seek support from peers, professors, or counselors if needed.
- Revisit the conversation later—make it an ongoing dialogue, not a one-time talk.
The bottom line: you don’t have to eliminate your child’s fear or have all the answers. What they need most is the reassurance that they are not facing it alone.
Written by Kevin Caridad PhD, LCSW
CEO Cognitive Behavior Institute
